On my blog, as well as fashion, beauty and lifestyle I want to occasionally include my own personal recounts of how my day has been going or how I've been feeling recently. So as a new segment on my blog, I'm going go be including 'Diary' entries, of some sort. They're for you to read and possibly relate to, but they're also for me to open up and be completely honest with myself as well as you guys.. So I thought I'd start off my first Diary post about my new healthy lifestyle that began yesterday.
As a petite girl of 5'2, I need to watch my weight. I've always been quite small, but I've also always had an issue with my weight. I was always so little, then I got to a chubby stage in my childhood at the age of around 7 or 8. However, through puberty, I lost my puppy fat and became toned, slim and fairly healthy. I used to go out a lot on bike rides, walks, and just to the field near my house with my Dad and brother. But in the last 3 years, it's fair to say I've put on a fair amount of weight and I am not the slim little thing that I once was.
I've gone from an 8 to a 12/14 in the last 3 years and to be honest, I never noticed it as much as I did last year when I had to order a pair of size 14 jeans and my favourite pair of size 10 shorts no longer fitted me. I was gutted! I'm a foodie. I love food and I love eating. It's fair to say that I eat when I'm bored as well as when I'm hungry. And I don't just eat 3 meals a day. I snack and snack and snack. It has become a habit and it's almost natural for me to eat all the time. I'm not one to exercise, either. I wouldn't say I'm lazy, I just lack the motivation to go out and exercise or even get up off of my arse.
I decided last year that I was going to lose weight. I had to. I said it the year before, for my Year 11 prom. I probably lost about 5 pounds which was miles from my goal. I don't look back at my prom pictures and think, bloody hell I look a state! But I do look back at them and think, if only I actually stayed dedicated to losing weight. I managed to lose around 11 pounds last year and I definitely noticed a different compared to previous photos of me on holiday the year before. However, I still didn't feel myself. I wasn't confident in my bikini when I was in Spain last year. I wasn't comfortable wearing a skirt and crop top to college or into town. I wasn't happy with myself like I could have been. I exercised probably 4 times a week and ate 3 fairly healthy meals a day. I've never been a breakfast eater, so after starting to eat a breakfast everyday I learnt that this was a massive help in losing weight and living a healthier lifestyle. I didn't feel as hungry throughout the day.
Since last year, I don't snack as much during the day and I've probably only put on a couple of pounds since last summer. I do, however, live only a couple of minutes away from a supermarket of which I actually work in, so I receive a colleague discount. This definitely plays a role in buying a whole load of shit which I will devour whilst I watch Netflix in bed. So not only am I eating a load of crap, but I'm also doing absolutely no exercise! But in the last few days I've had some sort of catharsis, if you like. A realisation that I don't want to be unhealthy and I don't want to feel self-conscious in my body. I want to be happy.
I go on holiday in just under 4 months and I will not look the way I do now when I go away. I will not be buying baggy and oversized clothes to hide the shape of my body. And I most certainly will not be going to the supermarket to buy a load of crap. Yesterday, I began my new healthy lifestyle.
I ate a healthy breakfast to start with, which already made me feel better and set me up for the day. I then went on a 4/5 mile power walk along the beach, because I'm lucky enough to live just a few minutes away from the seaside. After a long tiring walk I can honestly say I've never felt so revitalised and so positive! I felt brand new. I kept my earphones in my ears which played the happiest upbeat music, and I walked as fast and as far as my little legs could take me. It was great. I felt great. Instead of feeling guilty about eating a whole tub of brownies to myself, I felt motivated and I felt like I had accomplished something. After that walk in the fresh air and the warm sun whilst listening to music and the sound of the ocean, I feel like I can lose weight and I can be happy and confident again. A lot of my eating habits have been through comfort eating. I've had to deal with bitchy girls and fuck boys over the last couple of years and it's fair to say that I have resulted to eating away my problems. But not anymore. After a crap couple of weeks, a long brisk walk has made me feel motivated, revitalised and determined. And I did the same today. I went for a walk. And when I stopped off at the supermarket, it wasn't to buy brownies or cookies or chocolate. It was to buy fruit and yoghurt and granola and breakfast bars. I'm not doing this for anybody other than myself. Whether somebody says, corn blimey you've put on weight! or, you look fab, what are you talking about? This lifestyle change is for me and only me. I feel motivated to lose weight in the next 4 months and I feel like I really can and will be happier, slimmer, and confident.
Here's to perseverance!
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