5 Things I've Realised in 2016

5 Things I've Realised in 2016

11 January 2017

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Was 2016 the best year for me? No. Was it the worst year for me? No. For me, 2016 really was the year of "realising stuff", as Kylie Jenner so famously put it. I realised and learnt many things, from life, to love, to family. I've grown as a person, both mentally and physically, but I've also realised I still have a lot more growing to do in 2017, mentally.

I told myself in 2015 that I'd make a lot of changes towards my outlook on life in 2016, but the truth is, I'm still making silly mistakes, I'm still getting myself worked up over the pettiest of things, and I'm still allowing my worries to get the better of me. I've continued to put myself down, let people use me and take me for granted, and constantly avoided putting myself first.

Whilst I know that I haven't grown as much as I would have liked to, or should have, I can't dismiss the fact that there are many things I've learnt in the year of 2016, 5 of which I've written about in this post, and I've come a long way from 2015. I've grown in some ways, and that's something to be proud of. But I look forward to learning and growing a lot more in 2017, for my own sake.

1. It's okay to do things on your own

2016 was the year I realised I am so over the same old conversation.

"What did you do today?"

"Oh, I went shopping"

"Who with?"

"...myself..."

"Oh...you went out alone? Did you not have anyone to go with?"

Yes, friend/brother/colleague, I went out alone. But this year I've learnt that it's perfectly acceptable to go out on your own, despite what some people may think. Going out shopping or eating lunch on your own doesn't necessarily mean you're alone. It also doesn't mean that you couldn't find anyone who wanted to go out with you. I decide to go out on my own. In fact, I think it feels pretty liberating when you take trains on your own, and go shopping on your own, and sit in a restaurant and eat lunch or dinner on your own. I even tend to go to London on my own, and to be honest, it feels great. It feels refreshing to have some time completely to yourself to unwind, take in the environment around you, and to focus solely on yourself.

2. Life is short, and incredibly fragile

It's so cliche. But I really have learnt this year that life is short and fragile. You have to make the most of every single second, because you just don't know what's round the corner. An old friend of mine lost her dad during the summer at the age of 47 from a heart attack. My aunt had a brain haemorrhage in September and was in hospital for 6 weeks. And do I even have to name the many people that passed away in 2016?! We spend too much time moaning about the smallest things, when we should start appreciating the fact that we are living in a world where others aren't as fortunate as we are. There are so many opportunities and incredible things to discover, and it's about time we grab those opportunities with both hands and appreciate the things we have and the things we are yet to discover.

3. If you want people to believe in you, you have to believe in yourself first

This is a big one for me. I get so ridiculously anxious, and I allow that anxiety to prevent me from doing things that could really benefit me and help me grow as a person. There have been many times in 2016 where I have allowed my worries to build a wall and tower above me, but there have also been a few times where I've allowed myself to smash right through that wall and tell my worries to fuck off. In June, I interned at The Sun's Fabulous Magazine in London after meeting with the Editor in Chief and persuading him to let me intern there to gain some experience in journalism. He so kindly gave me the opportunity, and I commuted into the great city every day for a week, all by myself. I've never felt so proud. I allowed myself to come out of my shell and forget about all the doubts I had in my head. I believed in myself, and that self-belief allowed others to believe in me, too. That's the important thing. You really do have to believe in yourself first if you want other people to believe in you too.

"Without self-belief, nothing can be accomplished. With it, nothing is impossible." - Felix Dennis

"True self-belief grants the most powerful ally you could ever have; yourself." - Anon

4. It's best not to force friendships if they're no longer there

There are a handful of people I've left in 2016. Not because we've fallen out, or because I dislike them in any way, but because I'm done wasting my time putting effort into friendships that are quite obviously no longer there. Going back to my 'life is too short' speech, on one hand, life is too short to hold grudges and have arguments/beef with people, but on the other hand, life is also too short to waste time on people who aren't worth it. It's too short to hold on to people who don't want to be held onto. It's too short to not say how you feel about people, whether what you say is good or bad. In 2016, I realised that it was time to let go of friendships that became non-existent. Whilst the decision to do that is difficult, it also allows a heavy weight to be lifted off your shoulders.

5. Don't expect things to happen, make them happen

In 2016 I finished sixth form, which was one of the best moments of 2016 because I absolutely hated sixth form. I was looking forward to making loads of plans and doing so many different things, but other than a few trips to London and a family holiday that I go on every year, nothing really happened. And, why? Because I expected good and exciting things to just happen. But that's not how it works, and I don't know why it took me so long to realise! Great things don't just happen because you have to make them happen. Book holidays and city breaks, arrange shopping trips and travel days with friends, see your family. We can't just sit around and wait for a great opportunity to arise because, unfortunately, that rarely happens. 

I hope you all had a great and insightful 2016; here's to more learning, growing, and discovering in 2017!