It's fair to say that I have absolutely hated college, and most certainly disliked school in general. I understand that many under-privileged children would love to go to school and get an education, and therefore I am appreciative of the fact we get a free education. However, my school and college years have been completely blighted by nasty, bitchy girls, and I know that everybody has their fair share of incidents with these catty creatures. Nevertheless, the girls who have brought me down and made me feel completely and utterly useless have taught me many things.
I have fucking thick skin. I understand that everyone has had to deal with the cattiness of teenage girls at some point in their life. During my sixth form years, especially, I have been made to feel like I deserve to be walked over like a door mat. I've been made to feel like leaving college and throwing away all my hard work would be a much better option than staying in a college where I have absolutely no-one. I've been made to feel completely alone, and I've been ridiculed countless times.
However, through every bitchy glare, every nasty name I've been called, and every ridiculous rumour that has ever been created, I've pushed forward and eventually managed to move on, no matter how many times I've cried, screamed, and begged my mum to let me stay at home. Whilst in these situations I've felt weak and powerless, I can now sit here and say that I really do have thick skin, no matter how many times I've been angry at myself for crying or for being a 'wimp'. I've found ways to move on and focus my energy into more positive, beneficial things. I've been knocked down many times, but I've always stood right back up again and dusted myself off, ready to focus on me, myself and I.
My time is too valuable to be wasted on these people. I've learnt that I'm too young to not being doing what I love and what makes me happy. It's crazy how quick time is going, and it's going to go a lot quicker as the weeks and months go on. I don't have time to worry about the people who have spent 90% of their time trying to bring me down and make me feel like shit on somebody's shoe. I have my whole life ahead of me, and there's so many more things I need and want to focus on, rather than girls who are, quite honestly, irrelevant.
They never win. Whilst at first it seems like they really are winning at such a wicked game, at the end of it all, they're not. I've got so many exciting things coming up that are gonna help me increase my confidence and my happiness, whilst they're sat trying to think of new ways to make me miserable. Well tough fucking shit, because I'm way too busy getting excited about the great opportunities I've got lined up in the next few months, so who's going to be fucking laughing? Me.
I'm just as important as everybody else. As well as letting nasty girls make me feel like I'm irrelevant and worthless, I've been my own worst enemy at some points during my years at school. I've let girls make me feel like I don't deserve real friends, and I've let these girls make me feel as though I've deserved all the shit they've thrown in my face. I've been made to feel so unimportant when to be quite frank, I'm just an important as anyone else, if not more important. I've wasted too much time trying to make other people happy whilst disregarding my own happiness, and I've only recently realised that it's time to focus a little more on myself rather than everybody else. It's time to think about my happiness and my problems, and what's going on in my life, rather than focusing all my energy into people who really aren't worthy of my time and respect. Because by spending so much time trying to keep other people sweet and happy, I've made myself miserable in the process and allowed these people to walk all over my like a door mat.
Girls are predominantly bitchy. It seems to be in our nature; we all have a bitchy streak in us that tends to come out of hiding. However there's being bitchy, and there's being plain nasty and making other people incredibly unhappy. You don't realise the affect your words and actions can have on people. I've been left unhappy for a while now, and I've hated my school and college years so much that I can't wait till I walk out of that college on the 17th June and never go back. I wish I could say I've enjoyed my time at school, and especially sixth form. And I can't. But in the long run, nasty and immature girls have taught me many lessons that I'll take with me when I leave college and step into the big wide world. And I can honestly say that these bitches have made me realise how strong and huge-hearted I really am. So thank you.
For anybody who has been through similar experiences at school/college/uni/work and has been made to feel unwanted, unappreciated and unhappy, I hope you one day realise how strong, thick skinned and important you really are.
No comments:
Post a Comment